Monday, July 11, 2011

Baby's Journal

While I secretly wish that it's going to be a girl this time, I kept telling people, it doesn't matter. I even jokingly told them than it's going to be twin boys, just like in the novel "Something Blue" Darcy wanted a girl so bad, in the end she got twin boys instead.

I dare not have any hopes on anything, because I do not want to get disappointed. So what if it's another boy, even when I really want a girl? Even when I want to dress her up like a doll, tie her hair, braid the hair.. I know that I'm always not as lucky and do not always get what I wish for, so I better not wish for a girl this time.

I browsed through the baby gender websites, and usually it doesn't work. I hit on the button and it told me it's a girl, but it was a girl for Noah too, so it's definitely wrong, but Noah was a special baby, he was born early, so I am not sure if it will change anything.

I feel so so so sick. It's not easy when you have a 18 months old ( going to be 19 mths soon) running around, and you have to watch and catch him all the time. I got pretty stressed, and I almost didn't want the pregnancy. It's tough. I had a meltdown when I told hubby I am so tired, and he asked me to go to the gym. He doesn't understand! I wonder if any guys does understand.

While all I needed was to lie down on my back and get a little rest, he asked me to go work out. He said I will feel better. No, I won't feel better, I'll only feel worse. Enough chasing the little toddler around the backyard, and front yard..everywhere I mean, when I needed a rest, he asked me to do more workout? He definitely do not understand that a pregnant woman needs her rest! Not more work!

Anyway I think he got my message and he had the little boy for the weekend while I just sat back and relaxed, and had my day off (from Noah). I still had to clean and cook but at least it's a nice break for me. I think I am getting too much of Noah sometimes. I wonder if it will get worse, still have 7 more months to go and I'm getting all stressed and tired, and my back hurts all the time..

Only 7 more months to go...

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